tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post1886146935139269416..comments2023-08-12T09:35:34.943-04:00Comments on Oh for the love of...me: From Bars to ScarsSoberMomWriteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04845259535764391849noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-9141128999570382842013-03-18T10:54:04.289-04:002013-03-18T10:54:04.289-04:00I went to a St. Patrick's Day party yesterday ...I went to a St. Patrick's Day party yesterday and everybody had their phones out snapping pics all day long, all of them barely able to wait until they got home to paste them all over facebook. I found myself clicking through one friend's album in dreadfilled haste, barely taking time to even really look at the pics, just clicking, clicking, clicking and then breathing a big sigh of relief when I didn't find any pics of me.<br /><br />I know some of this is based on all those years of drunken boozy photos that were mirrors to a me that I didn't know existed, the me that others saw but I couldn't when I was drunk. The dull eyes, the slack facial muscles, the drunk leering smile. I hated those morning after pics.<br /><br />But even before that, going back to junior high, I developed an extreme dislike of myself in photos because they never looked like the me that I saw when I looked in a mirror. Everybody else always looks like themselves, but I never look like me, to me. There's been very few pics through the years that I've said, "Now that one looks like me."<br /><br />So now I'm coming to accept that it really is me in those pictures, and she's not perfect, but she's me and I should be grateful.Kary Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12674442468925628974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-59718533183156824662013-03-16T23:47:05.878-04:002013-03-16T23:47:05.878-04:00I'll get there! Especially with support like ...I'll get there! Especially with support like this. You soo rock.<br /><br />Thanks my friend.<br /><br />SherrySoberMomWriteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04845259535764391849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-8083721284433632622013-03-16T23:45:54.000-04:002013-03-16T23:45:54.000-04:00Hmmm...habits. I seem to be good at those. What ...Hmmm...habits. I seem to be good at those. What a great idea!<br /><br />SherrySoberMomWriteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04845259535764391849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-1890549322180419222013-03-16T23:44:39.596-04:002013-03-16T23:44:39.596-04:00Sherry! So good to hear from you and know you'...Sherry! So good to hear from you and know you're out there still. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I love hearing from you.<br /><br />SherrySoberMomWriteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04845259535764391849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-59979274319824547742013-03-16T23:28:42.166-04:002013-03-16T23:28:42.166-04:00This is my favourite post of yours so far.
Ther...This is my favourite post of yours so far. <br /><br />There is a depth and beauty to it (no pun intended) that just exudes self-examination and that bittersweetness that comes with recovery. The physical connection to our core values and familial ties to our externals is always strong, and it's not something that we can change at the source. But as you say so wonderfully, it's something that we can change at our end, and that comes from within. <br /><br />Your example of what a young woman would be told and not being able to follow our own advice made me laugh, because I am guilty of that often. Do as I say, not as I do. But we are of course hardest on ourselves. One of the things that I am learning is to soften that line on myself...treat me as I would one of my friends or family...with love and compassion. I would never speak to others the way I speak to myself at times. Self-compassion. We are all on that journey. You ARE that person your family sees you as...it will just take time to see it.<br /><br />Thank you for a sumptuous post. <br /><br />Blessings,<br />PaulAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-5836226486385361322013-03-16T17:40:44.438-04:002013-03-16T17:40:44.438-04:00First off - I love you!!!
A while back I wrote abo...First off - I love you!!!<br />A while back I wrote about our real self vs that "persona" and I have always known you to have this genuine "realness" - (ha, see velveteen rabbit!) We have those things that occur outside of us, beyond our control; family of origin top of that list. Dr Phil, in one of his books writes (and I paraphrase) You can trace who you've become in this life back to defining moments, key choices and five life-changing people. You cannot change these moments, choices and people, but once you recognize this, you can begin to work on changing your future.<br /><br />He goes on to explain where our internal happenings are made up of our own reactions to the events in our life. Since these reactions happen within us, we have the power to change them.<br /><br />Coming full circle, then, you've identified the internal factors and you are 'aware' of how it has affected you, your self-image, so you can begin processing it (and you are doing this!!!),, but it takes time. Reading between the lines of this very post indicate where you are a) acknowledging a weakness and then b) seeking knowledge about it and finally c) you are reigning in the power and eventually (I believe sooner than later, if not already),, those members from your family no longer have any power over you - you've taken it all back and this makes you beautiful inside and out . ,. <br />YOU'RE AMAZING !!!<br /> dawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15089788992642824340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-26640183004918245542013-03-16T00:12:50.550-04:002013-03-16T00:12:50.550-04:00I've seen you, and what I saw was warmth and w...I've seen you, and what I saw was warmth and wisdom and smiling eyes. But I hear what you are saying and I wish there was something I could do to turn that negative little voice inside your brain around. Having said that, I know you have the mental fortitude and determination to do it yourself. You got sober - tick! Grow self love - tick! Love to you xxxxMrs Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13110933370498728198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-82638423198772207892013-03-15T17:50:16.119-04:002013-03-15T17:50:16.119-04:00I was just saying to my husband yesterday that I&#...I was just saying to my husband yesterday that I'm starting to like the way I look. My unique-ness. My gap teeth. My freckles. My not typical-ness. My plain-ness. My me-ness. <br /><br />I am always so hard on myself. Not good enough over and over. When we both know that's not true- and that if you and I met in person we would think the other was gorgeous. So maybe you think of you like I do, and I think of me like you would. Then in a while it will just be habit. Just like sober. <br /><br />Namaste. xoamyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05121059866790215726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-45569764833883413142013-03-15T17:06:18.310-04:002013-03-15T17:06:18.310-04:00I loved what you said about your face. I don'...I loved what you said about your face. I don't like having my picture taken either. When I look in the mirror I see traces of my daughter and her loss is very, very apparent on my face.<br /><br />Nicole was very hard on herself- she felt she could not do anything right. <br /><br />I hope you will be kind to yourself. I am working on it too, as grief seems to own my soul.<br /><br />Take careHave Myelin?https://www.blogger.com/profile/05704037582961814202noreply@blogger.com