tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post3022059971991381749..comments2023-08-12T09:35:34.943-04:00Comments on Oh for the love of...me: Sometimes All I've Got Left to Give Is Love...SoberMomWriteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04845259535764391849noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-81121301839467340082014-01-30T03:27:40.215-05:002014-01-30T03:27:40.215-05:00Oh wow I missed this post.. been a bit out of the ...Oh wow I missed this post.. been a bit out of the loop what with moving and stuff. Sounds tough Sherry.. a bit like my sister who is back in a psych hospital trying to get her meds right so she can live a normal life.. still terribly depressed and blaming my mother for everything. it's so tough. you are an inspiration… some people are hard to love but loving them regardless helps makes us the best people we can be. xxxxMrs Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13110933370498728198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-82242684550979522822014-01-28T12:18:11.504-05:002014-01-28T12:18:11.504-05:00I am all too familiar with NPD as my mother had it...I am all too familiar with NPD as my mother had it and I'm sure that's the root of my sister's issues too. Not being a psychologist however, I'm not positive so I avoided saying it...but I was sure thinking it.<br /><br />Have you ever ready "Will I Ever Be Good Enough?" by Dr. Karyl McBride? That's the book that freed me from the guilt I carried about my mom (she had already passed away when I read it). I recommend it highly.<br /><br />Thanks for the comment Joy. SoberMomWriteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04845259535764391849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-69098884972196511872014-01-28T12:14:33.831-05:002014-01-28T12:14:33.831-05:00It's funny. I used to ask Bill that all the t...It's funny. I used to ask Bill that all the time...now I can't remember the last time I asked him that.<br /><br />Hmmmmm....growth?SoberMomWriteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04845259535764391849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-67009951310472103322014-01-28T12:13:51.110-05:002014-01-28T12:13:51.110-05:00Amen Paul. Amen.
Amen Paul. Amen.<br /><br />SoberMomWriteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04845259535764391849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-72203062072050469042014-01-28T12:13:20.944-05:002014-01-28T12:13:20.944-05:00The only way I know how to love is unconditionally...The only way I know how to love is unconditionally...the boundaries? I'm learning.<br /><br />SoberMomWriteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04845259535764391849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-25808620266148564052014-01-28T12:12:36.976-05:002014-01-28T12:12:36.976-05:00We sure do.
Thanks Ginger.We sure do.<br /><br />Thanks Ginger.SoberMomWriteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04845259535764391849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-50174142847916826322014-01-28T08:31:00.762-05:002014-01-28T08:31:00.762-05:00So sorry to hear this story. Of course I can'...So sorry to hear this story. Of course I can't diagnose from afar, but it sounds awfully like Narcissistic Personality Disorder to me. Unfortunately my mother suffers from this and I am an "expert" in seeing it in others. Overly sensitive to it you may say. If this is the case, the normal rules of love don't apply and as you have discovered in the end you need to protect yourself in whichever way is best for you. So so sad to have to deal with this sort of person. My mother came close to destroying me, but luckily I saw through it all just in time. All best. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-9225490329179778852014-01-28T07:41:51.166-05:002014-01-28T07:41:51.166-05:00Terrific post. Thank You.
Scarily much of your d...Terrific post. Thank You.<br /><br />Scarily much of your description of your niece sounds like me. Well the old me, the drinker. For years I'd have to impress you that I was the best thing you could find in whatever domain I thought you wanted me to be the best - best husband, Dad, worker, volunteer etc. etc. The only thing I was actually remotely the best at was bullshitting those that listened to this nonsense!<br /><br />Today I'm so relieved I don't have to live that lie, having to remember exactly what it is I'm saying I'm the best at and why etc. I just do and let others judge.<br /><br />For example - I used to ask my wife, often, "Do you love me?" - I needed to hear her validation against my angst that maybe she didn't. How do you reply to that? "Not just at the moment love, because you are two hours late, clearly drunk again and just picked our son up in a car where you've risked his, yours and other peoples lives". No she always would mutter "Yes" or "You know I do"... give away for "Not at the moment..."<br /><br />I don't ask now - she either loves me or doesn't. I work hard to try and be a better husband etc. and I hope through that the love she may have with me remains but I cannot demand it or question it - it either is or isn't. I have to accept it. Oh yes - I do make a point of telling her that I do love herAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-14498647548727886912014-01-28T00:49:34.946-05:002014-01-28T00:49:34.946-05:00We care about them, not care for them, Sherry. Yo...We care about them, not care for them, Sherry. You have clearly made your boundaries, and made them known. There is no right, nor wrong. Just is. Love comes from this, and in my book, that is what counts. This isn't a pissing contest or a drama club. One human to another, family member to another...pure love. That is all we can do. If that isn't what she expects...well, so be it. <br /><br />You're in a wonderful place with this, Sherry. I really admire your courage in this and your decision to make that line in the sand. You love as you love. She receives and she receives...and we can't do anything to change how they receive.<br /><br />Blessings,<br />PaulAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-81598783875499332772014-01-27T21:41:50.618-05:002014-01-27T21:41:50.618-05:00Awwww Sherry, we really are kindred spirits. Bless...Awwww Sherry, we really are kindred spirits. Bless your heart. Keep loving her with boundaries and unconditionally. Annettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18326425173333184401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958057397876971565.post-31305572561603442252014-01-27T16:58:33.140-05:002014-01-27T16:58:33.140-05:00It's so hard to love someone like that. At the...It's so hard to love someone like that. At the end of the day, I had to do the same as you - detach my emotions and love from a safe emotional distance. I believe that as life takes its toll, these people will eventually meet the circumstances which unravel all their lies and selfishness. In the meantime, we love. xxGingerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08032255209884107019noreply@blogger.com