So as I've probably mentioned, I've been struggling with my weight for...well forever. But since I went through menopause (I was done at 47 yay!) my metabolism has slowed to a complete stand still. Even eliminating the thousands of calories from wine (and later bags and bags of m&m's) didn't do a thing for my waistline. I've gained and lost the same 10 lbs for the last 2 years which sounds good - except that I put on 50 during my worst drinking days.
I come from a long line of women with slow metabolisms and issues with food. My mother was once addicted to diet pills prescribed by a doctor to help her lose weight. Of course it didn't help that I grew up in a home where fried Spam was considered a protein (I am not even kidding) and McDonald's was considered fine dining.
Plus, as any good card carrying alcoholic, I do not know the meaning of the word moderation. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl. I can't have one or two Oreos, I have to eat the whole row (or box) until I'm feeling sick. I can't eat one or two french fries - I need to Super Size the damn thing and then eat them all, licking my fingers to get the last of the salt and grease. (Okay - I've got to stop - I'm grossing myself out right now.)
I got a handle on my weight during the 80's when I became a fitness nut and eliminated most fat from my diet (since my husband had a heart attack at 45). It was so liberating to be able to eat like a normal person and exercise and stay healthy! I loved it!
Then of course the drinking escalated, my eating habits went to shit and I stopped exercising. Add to that the fact that our home is designed so that the kitchen and family room are one big room which makes it oh so easy and convenient to grab a snack while watching TV. Sigh...
So the BB has been beating the hell out of me about how my body looks for like...well...forever but that's beside the point. She's been really working up a sweat lately regarding the current state of my ass. I got on the scale this morning (up a half a pound from last week instead of down) and immediately said to myself, "OMG! I am never going to get this weight off! I've given up cigarettes and drinking - I can't possibly give up sugar and carbs too!"
That stopped me dead in my tracks. First of all I was whining which I HATE! And secondly...really? It's just FOOD. There are many things in my life which I can't possibly give up and food that is not good for my body is certainly not one of them!
- I can't give up loving on my children, kissing them goodbye, hello, goodnight, good job...whatever.
- I can't give up hugs - from anyone.
- I can't give up my relationship with my husband who is part best friend, part lover, part confidant, and all of my heart.
- I can't give up HGTV (okay...I guess I could...but it would be really hard).
- I can't give up beautiful sunrises and sunsets.
- I can't give up Bradford Pears and Cherry Blossoms that bloom in the Spring.
- I can't give up my love for the Chesapeake Bay and Maryland Blue Crabs.
- I can't give up missing my grandchildren and looking forward to seeing them and then loving all over them when they show up and then crying when they go home.
- I can't give up long walks when the weather is gorgeous.
- I can't give up girl talk.
- I can't give up trying to find a closer relationship with God and enjoying the one I have.
Plus about a million other wonderful things.
But food? Oh hell to the yeah...I can work on giving up that which is just plain not good for me. Whether or not I lose any weight.
And to you BB - shut the hell up and get out of my head.