I think I'm beginning to move forward, away from the tragedy of last Friday (tragedy is a weak word for what occurred). I was actually singing Christmas Carols on the way into work this morning and I'm starting to really laugh again. This was the first morning I woke up and didn't think, "20 children were massacred on Friday." I guess that's moving on.
The fact is...I don't know what I'm supposed to feel or do right now. The only thing I can bring to mind is how I felt during 9/11. But 9/11 was political. It was directed at a country in an effort to bring us to our knees. It was military in nature. The intent was clear. Pearl Harbor came to mind.
But this? That man looked into the eyes of those sweet children and intentionally murdered them.
I've got nothing.
In addition, there are 26 families in Connecticut who are burying their loved ones a week before Christmas. There are friends and relatives who are grieving in unimaginable ways. Parents who are burying their children and who are forced to go on because they have other children who need them. A town that is forever bonded in a way that no one would every choose. Christmas will never be the same for these families or this town ever again. We will move forward and give a prayer or a nod every year on December 14th in remembrance of the tragedy, but they are forever changed. Nothing will ever be the same.
So I don't know how or when it is appropriate to move forward. I don't know what to do. I felt guilty when I caught myself singing. I don't know if it's okay.
I...just...don't...know.
Namaste
I know, I don't know either. It's comforting to me to hear other people voicing the same feelings. We're all so broken, that's a comfort to me, that there are still so many more of us, then them.
ReplyDeleteThere are no words for what happened. I've had to stop talking about it....so much was being said, I just felt I needed to be quiet and process it and feel what I could of it all. It really is beyond the human hearts capabilities I think to understand or be able to even process it all though.
ReplyDeleteIt is horrific I can't grasp what makes someone do that but then I don't understand many crimes that is what sets us apart from those that do them
ReplyDeleteYou do move on it is ok you have to else they win
Situations such as these, whether political or personal, always make us question our faith in God and our beliefs in the kindness of the human spirit....moving forward is always the course of success in life while remembering the losses that we are forced to face in our day to day living is indeed a source of strength for facing down the subsequent brushes with evil in the World which inevitably are heading our way...I like to say that life is a series of events with which we must deal ever day of our lives....keep the faith, always and DON'T let the bastards get you down, but allow your faith in God to lift you up...
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