Let's look again at my attempt at giving up dieting, self incrimination and just generally worrying about shit that should come naturally and with a grateful heart, for Lent. Our society gets so hung up on body image that we've created a multi billion dollar industry all aimed at giving us that "magic bullet" that will take us to our ideal body weight. Only to be disappointed because genetics dealt us different cards and we don't look like the model in the magazine or the personal trainer on TV or the movie star on the screen.
I think the only way I am going to find self acceptance will be to eat healthy, whole, non processed food, (when hungry) in moderate amounts and move more. Then, and this is the important part, when my body finds it's natural weight based on my metabolism, accept it.
I'll pause now while you spit out your coffee, laugh or otherwise discuss the "yeah right"ness of that last paragraph.
As improbable as this may seem, this is exactly what I am working toward this Lenten season. Thus far, it's going pretty dang good. I'm paying close attention to when and if I'm hungry and I'm trying to eat well and be thankful and present when I eat. I'm moving as much as possible, walking the dogs 3.5 miles this weekend (if the weather would cooperate I'd be walking even more) and practicing yoga every day. Overall I feel good.
I'm still struggling with the crap my inner bitch tries to tell me every morning when I'm looking for something to wear, but I've gotten pretty good at telling her to shut the fuck up. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I will say this, when it works...I feel powerful. I feel blessed. I feel centered. These are very good things.
I also have to stop myself from obsessing about every morsel that passes my lips. It's so ingrained in my psyche to scrutinize everything I eat and then feel either deprived because I'm not satisfied or guilty because I am, that eating is not really a joyful thing for me. And I believe it should be! I think that we should celebrate our blessings and be grateful and present when we eat. There are so many who are hungry that to be blessed with the abundance of too much food is a miracle. I'm committed to retraining my thoughts and approaching food from a different place. One of gratitude and love.
Like everything, it's a process. Also like everything it's progress...not perfection.
Bless your food today and be present and grateful while it is consumed - in that way you will nourish your soul as well as your body. What better way to give glory to God? And isn't that what Lent is about?
Namaste
Whatever you do, make it an offering to me -- the food you eat, the sacrifices you make, the help you give, even your suffering.
-Bhagavad Gita
Oh goodness you could be writing to me right now. I am really obsessed with my diet .. it's like I've only woken up to the inadequacies of what I eat... clearly I've always been addicted to sugar. It was in the booze, then it was in the sugary soft drinks I was having every night as a replacement. Once BBB helped me figure out how sugary they are and I've cut them out I am binging on sugar in the strangest ways. Chocolate buttons from the baking cupboard, lollies, kids biscuits that I don't even like. Just bad unhealthy eating. And snacking. I'm not hugely fat, but I am not slender. I am carrying too much weight and feeling yukky. Something has to give. xxx
ReplyDeleteThe sugar thing is just what it is...you'll figure it out. I don't think it's evil per se...I just think it needs to be moderated (which we all know I have trouble doing).
DeleteI've seen you...you're gorgeous. Stop worrying.
Sherry
Wonderful post - good insight into how we view ourselves and the pressure put on us. We've put enough pressure on ourselves in our drinking - trying to be perfect, trying to hold it all together, trying to push the lies onto doubting people, trying to quit...yikes. As for the sugar, yup, been there too. two months now. I actually had a TINY bit of brownie at work...and man, I was getting major cravings already! So I figured it's time to not get into it now. Maybe later. Or perhaps never. Maybe it's up there with booze...no go zone.
ReplyDeleteBut I love your approach to food - it's something that I am trying to digest (pun intended) as well. As long as I am eating well (physically and emotionally), exercising, and taking care of myself, I will learn to accept my body and it's metabolism. Not getting younger, that's for sure, so I have to stop looking at pictures of myself 15 years ago and wondering how I can look like that again. Might not even be healthy.
Anyway, I think what you're doing is fabulous. Enjoy life, enjoy food...until it doesn't seem enjoyable any more.
Thanks for the reminder!