"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." ~Psalm 46:10
This is one of my favorite Bible verses. Being Catholic I don't know that many (we learn through stories instead of verses) but this is one that I carry in my heart. To me it says, "For My sake Sherry, shut the fuck up...I got this!"
Sometimes I forget. Then, when I start the stupid cycle I described in yesterday's post, any and all hope of remembering flies right out the window. The bitch that lives in my head starts talking and nothing else has a shot at getting through my very thick skull.
Until I have a moment like I had yesterday. A moment of clarity so sharp that it cuts right through all of the monkey chatter, all of the static and all of the negative self-talk. I won't say I've found peace of mind yet, but I'm a lot closer to it today than I was on Monday. In fact, when I looked in the mirror this morning after my shower and the bitch started to spout off, I look in the mirror, and said (out loud),
"Shhhhhh...." Then I closed my eyes and said, "Be still...be still...be still...and KNOW."
And a funny thing happened.
It worked. I managed to get dressed and out of the house with a smile on my face and in clothes that felt good on me. I kissed the man of my dreams goodbye and was off to a job that I love.
So tonight I'm going to download one of the Tara Brach guided meditations that was recommended to me by many of you and practice what I preach.