Wednesday, March 28, 2012

New and Improved Coping Skills

I had a shitty day yesterday.  Sorry to be so vulgar but that's the only way to describe it.

First I fell in the parking lot at work.  Totally sober, no phone usage involved at all.  My heel caught in a small pothole and down I went.  Scraped up both knees pretty bad, tore a hole in the knee of a good pair of dress pants (and I only have 4 pair!) and dropped my phone.  The only thing I was really worried about was the phone and it was fine (silver lining?) but I was bruised, battered and bloody and it was only 9:00 am.  My ego wasn't doing too well either...

Then I found out that a job I had applied for and was looking forward to an interview for was WAY below my paygrade and that I was grossly overqualified for it.  THEN my boss at my contracting job told me not to come in except when there are meetings.  So today I'm back in my home office (which is fine actually).  Sigh....

Of course now that I'm typing it, it doesn't seem nearly as bad as it all felt yesterday.  Hmmm....

Anyway, I went home yesterday in a very crappy mood and proceeded to adjust my attitude. First, there was chocolate waiting courtesy of my husband - yes ladies...he's a keeper. (Of course I had also stopped on the way home and got some just in case.  I'm not stupid you know.)

Next I took the dogs for a long walk where I examined exactly what I was feeling (frustration seemed to be the key followed closely by feeling like a failure to my family because I couldn't find a full time job with decent benefits for them).  Then I took in a deep breath and visualized blowing all of the crap out of my body and not letting it back into my heart (many, many times).

Then I prayed. 

I prayed for God to keep me patient so that I could do His will and not mine which is a new concept for me and one I'm having a little trouble embracing as completely as I should.  Thank goodness He's patient. 

I prayed for God to keep my ego in check and not let me get too big for my britches. 

I prayed for a sale so I could get more britches. 

I prayed that I could provide for my family in the ways that are important.  Like adjusting this attitude so I could go home and love on them and be present for them.

Then God answered.  I remembered a comment my daughter made on my Facebook page yesterday that said, "Hey, I was looking at your picture on this does it feel to be the caregiver to 11 kids? do a pretty bomb ass job!"  Now, I have no idea what bomb ass means but I get the context. (You see Lord - I do listen from time to time.)

By the time I got home my head had been screwed back on straight and I was infinitely better.  I told my family I wanted to be taken care of and babied for the rest of the evening and then I sat my ass down and played with my iPad.  Take THAT crappy day.

And the best part?  Not using a day like that as an excuse to stop by the grocery store and pick up two bottles of wine and then go home and open one early and feel totally justified in getting totally shit-faced just because I had a bad day.  Then wake up the next morning in the same bad mood but now with a sour stomach, headache and no memory of the night before...

Oh yeah...I love my new coping skills.  And I love the people who love me and help me use them.

And if I haven't mentioned it lately - Yay God!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." ~Jeremiah 29:11-13


  1. Dang, I should just read your blog and not bother going to see my therapist today. This made me feel better. Not the part about you falling - of course that was upsetting, but like you said, the phone was safe!

    When I found out I was preg. with my son (and was very unhappy about it) I wrote down Jer. 29:11-13 and read it when I felt hopeless. I wish I still believed in that God. I lost my faith about 7 years ago, but still love that verse.

    1. Barbara, I know we have much in common but this is plain spooky now!
      I wanted to name my son (13) Jeremiah after finding this in the bible when I was pregnant and unhappy (to put it midly). . . I compromised (thinking of his future :-) and used it for his middle name. x

    2. That is a bit spooky, who knows what else we have in common that we don't know about yet! And, what a great middle name for your son :)

  2. Oh man, so sorry to hear about falling and then the job crap. Really sorry to hear it all hit in one day. But it sounds like you did something wonderful and applied what you knew and got somewhere even better than where you started.

    Seems as though a lot of people in recovery are being tested right now and the lesson I take away is my time will come but I can get through it if I remember the things I've learned. I can only hope to come out as gracefully and positively as you did. Thank you for the inspiring post.

    Oh and go get yourself some new britches!

  3. Reaction to actions always seem to have more than one way to respond and the coping mechanism within all of us is the vital part to the recovery from the action...making the right choice from the selection of responses is the key to recovery...splended choice my dear...we all love you...I love you more!!!

    1. Yeah...and thanks for the chocolate "elmo".

  4. Thanks for posting the Jeremiah bit . . . I needed to read that right now.
    I, like Barbara, found it when I was pregnant and horrified with my middle boy (13). His middle name is Jeremiah because I found so much comfort there . . . Thanks.
    I love your new coping skills too. You absolutley Rock x

  5. Oh no, poor you! How are those sore legs of yours today?

    You really did have an OFF day yesterday - those are horrible, one only wants to return to bed, get a good sleep and then get a new fresh start the following day.

    I admire you and this marvellous way you decided to handle the OFF-day - YAY YOU!:))

    Really... do you have 11 children?!

    1. I sent along an email but just in case you didn't get it here's the breakdown (she was talking about a photo where only 11 of the following were present):
      3 biological children
      1 stepdaughter
      1 niece and 1 nephew who we raised
      3 grandchildren
      1 great niece
      1 great nephew
      1 son-in-law
      1 son-in-law's sister
      1 neighbor child who spends all his free time at my house and now that he's moved spends Christmas Break and summers here too.

      I think that it????

      Wouldn't have it any other way.

  6. OUCH! Guess you were not cut out for that job. I guess no one told you yet, be careful what you pray for (patience). God has a heck of a sense of humor.

    1. I KNOW how "funny" God can be sometimes. Patience in my terms and his are two very different things.

      I always like the phrase, "God only gives you as much as you can handle." Apparently he believes me to be a linebacker for the Washington Redskins!



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