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| I love Calvin and Hobbs. |
Oh for the love of all that is holy - when will these damn cravings stop! I promise that I'm excited about this journey...I really am but...seriously? These cravings are killing me! (Atkins said they would leave after 4 days...Lou said 4 weeks...guess we know who's NOT blowing smoke up my ass.)
I've been feeling REALLY good since last Friday. Lots of energy, renewed focus, no hunger (in fact I have to remember to eat), no crashes, no yawning and getting sleepy during the day, and only a few, breathe deeply and they go away, cravings. I didn't even mind the scale doing it's little yo-yo thing instead of going down everyday. This ain't my first dance with the scale...it's just a number.
And I am almost completely out of pain for the first time in probably five years. You have no idea what I've been through with my body (okay - maybe you have a little idea since I tend to bitch about it here from time to time). The alcohol and carbs actually created a Rheumatoid Arthritis scare a few years ago. The inflammation in my body was so bad I could barely move. I can remember sitting in bed trying to pick up a wine glass and having to use the wrists of both hands to pick it up and drink it...um...yeah...that was hard to admit. I saw lots of doctors and got lots of pitying looks. I Googled the hell out of every symptom. Eventually the really bad symptoms went away as fast as they came.
But even after it passed and I quit drinking, I spent two more years dealing with pain. I wasn't sleeping because my hips and legs hurt so bad. Advil and Advil PM became my best friend...not to mention my old standby Excedrin.
I thought I had fibromyalgia. The doctor's mentioned Lupus. When I learned I had Psoriasis, I concluded that the pain must have been a Psoriatic Arthritis flare. (Told you I was Googling.) No matter how hard I tried I couldn't keep up any kind of exercise routine (not even yoga) because the recovery from just one day was too much. I was so depressed because I couldn't figure out what was causing it so I couldn't make it stop.
Two words...sugar...booze.
I am now virtually pain free with energy. Cardio here I come. I'm dusting off all my Kathy Smith and Karen Voight DVD's (and tapes...yes I still have tapes) and I'm going to SWEAT.
If I could just stop the CRAVINGS... They came back yesterday with a vengenance and it's pissing me off.
I'm working on 20-25 carb grams a day for now. It's REALLY low because this is the detox phase. I only have six more days in this phase. This is the part where I usually quit. This is the part where I start second guessing why I'm doing this. This is the part where I start rationalizing.
This part and I have met before. We are well acquainted. We used to be best friends. We are now mortal enemies. (And I do mean mortal cause this shit is going to kill me.)
Recognizing it and knowing it doesn't make the fight any easier.
Sigh...I'm done whining for now. I only have one more thing to say.
Fuck you carbs. (That's for you Lou...and me.)
I'm so glad you're writing about this. I can only ask myself: WTF (why not what) can't you get it together and stick to eating no sugar and no carbs? I'm not even trying! AND I HAVE HAD THE PAIN YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT FOR YEARS! I was diagnosed with Fibro about 10 years ago and suffered both physically and mentally. Lying in bed at night still hurts my legs, but my symptoms have lessened quite a bit.
ReplyDeleteJust keep doing what you're doing and I am going. My therapist things I'm fearful of being thin again that I use this layer of fat to insulate myself from the world (mostly men). I know all that shit but .... I don't know. I just feel hopeless in this one area of my life.
Wow... I am amazed of your persistance and strength in your battle against the cravings. That is true power - it says everything about your remarkable character.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, six days to go - you can do it!
Sherry,
ReplyDeleteYou must be so happy to not be in pain any more, pain makes a misery of life.
You've come so far and you're mighty!
You can do anything you set out to do, I'm impressed x
YOU INSPIRE ME!!!!! As soon as the graduation cake is gone I will be detoxing. The benefits sound wonderful!
ReplyDeleteI think what you are doing is phenomenal. I find this post to be fascinating. This whole sugar thing. It is so hard to kick. I just had some birthday cake with real fudge icing and I went berserk on it because I was stressed out. Now I am gravely I'll. You're in a better place. I am going to go back and read you sugar post and hopefully get inspired to do what you're doing.
ReplyDeleteYou DO rock, Sober Mom!
XO
That was gravely ILL. Damn auto correct.
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