Friday, June 1, 2012
There is a lot of change going on in my world right now. I'm not good with change...especially when it involves my kids or the kids of my kids.
My granddaughter turned 13 this year. She has just graduated from 8th grade and will be entering high school next year. She is attending her 8th grade semi-formal dance tonight and I have just been informed that she has a DATE. I'm not sure her father is aware or if it has actually sunk in but I do not envy the boy who comes to pick her up. My son-in-law is a sweetie-pie but he's also a great big guy with a booming baritone voice and he can be very intimidating. I love that about him right now.
I can't believe she's growing this quickly! I know it's cliche but where has the time gone? I remember this little munchkin with a tangle of blond hair and big blue eyes looking up at me from a playpen and reaching for me as soon as she saw me. My youngest boys are not much older than she is (4 years) so my patience had been tried to the max when she came along. I thought I would be a crappy grandma because I wasn't in the typical grandma frame of mind. I wasn't empty nesting. I didn't need to make up for mistakes I made with my own kids. My arms and heart did not ache to hold a child. But when she smiled and reached up to me to be picked up and then buried her fuzzy blond head into the crook of my neck...everything else fell away and only love remained.
Fortunately she's still shorter than me (but not by much) so that I can still kiss the top of that fuzzy little head when I see her and she still folds perfectly into my arms; but the fact remains that she is growing up and I have to deal.
Because her sister and brother are right behind her...
And that sucks big time.
I had to leave the delivery room before she was born to go back to work and it's something I will always regret. But I was present when her sister and brother were born and they are some of the most special times of my life.
I like to think I was of some help in the delivery room (other than moral support) to her mom because when you are birthing babies you couldn't give a flying fig about moral support. But when her sister was born I wasn't afraid to yell at the nurses to get the damn epidural administered to my daughter, before I had to do it myself. I also wasn't afraid to tell her mom's ex-husband (her biological dad) to get the hell out of the room because he was getting on her mom's nerves and I didn't give a rat's ass whether he liked it or not.
When her brother was born, I was able to coach my son in law to hold her mom's back up while she pushed and to not rub her back so much because sometimes it gets annoying. That's the benefit of being a young step-mother who was not that far from the delivery room herself and thus remembered what it was like to be in that bed.
We live too far for me to be present at every event they have (and they have A LOT because they have the best parents in the world) and even if they lived closer I probably wouldn't be at half of them - I can barely make half of the events that their uncles have! But I know when they come to visit that I give 100% to them and I am present while they are here. I give hugs and kisses and I listen and I bake and I make dumb jokes and offer "not your parents" advice. And they love me.
So to my #1 granddaughter, congratulations on your graduation, your entry into high school and your first date. You are a kind and loving girl. You are beautiful and always have been. You are so smart I can hardly believe it. You are so artistic that your work takes my breath away sometimes. You are athletic and I could watch you tumble for hours. You are a miracle and I love you.