Went for my first appointment at Jenny Craig yesterday. "First" is a relative term since this is my third trip down the food aisle with Jenny. "If you were not successful the first two times they why are you going back? Isn't that the definition of crazy you keep talking about?"
Yes and no.
I'm back again because I know the program has all of the requisite ingredients (pardon the pun) to be successful. The missing, and most important, ingredient was the right mindset from me. The first time I tried it I was still deep into my drinking. It's hard to lose weight when you're sucking down over 2,000 calories in wine every single night. It's a wonder I'm not 300 lbs.
I couldn't remember when I was in the second time (it was very short lived) so I had the consultant check for me. Result? Early 2010. Around the same time I was detoxing and just before I embarked on a year of travel for work. Let's see...how about we travel around the country, white knuckling my way around hotel bars and wine with dinner AND try and figure out how Jenny would have me eat. Yeah...sometimes I'm a real dumbass.
So what's different this time? To begin, I'm in a much better mental place then I was in my other attempts. In fact, I'm in a better mental place than I think I've ever been in my LIFE. Also, I have no travel coming up any time soon and all of the work events that thwarted my weightloss attempts are over until next summer (except for two and I can handle those). Finally, we're financially better able to handle the cost.
So yesterday I went in and sat down and got signed up for the program. I only had one request...I do not want to see the number on the scale. I don't want to keep track of pounds. I only want to know if the weight is going in the right direction (down) and if I'm on track (1-2 pounds per week). I refuse to weigh myself at home either. I'm going to judge success by the way I feel, the way my clothes feel, and what the numbers of my blood work tell me.
I've also decided to be accountable to myself and to blog through this journey. Sundays with Jenny will be where I recount the week past and plan for the week about to come. I'll talk about feelings, successes, failures, food and activity. I'll talk about planning for the week ahead and how I can circumvent potential road blocks.
I have all my food for next week. My program starts tomorrow. I chose only things I know I like and I'm making a shopping list for other things I need - fresh foods like fruit and salad fixings. I'm anticipating a highly succesful first (and likely second) week because that's always how a weight loss journey starts...all full of commitment and excitement. And I'm hoping I can carry that all the way through the next 52 weeks.
My goals? I don't want to be a size 6...I was NEVER a size 6. I just want to shop in "regular" stores again. I don't want to be where I was at 35. While that was a good time for me and my body, I am not 35 anymore. I want to be a healthy 51 year old. And, the biggest, hairiest, most important goal I have? I don't want to die like my mother did. I don't want to be 75, half blind, taking insulin, unable to walk or drive or read a good book, unable to controls my bodily functions. Oh hell no!
I'll take any prayers and good wishes I can get so if you've got any to share...feel free to lay it on me.
"You know, diet is about willpower, and lifestyle is about skill power. And diet is about deprivation, and lifestyle is about moderation."