Wednesday, December 12, 2012

A Non-Event Event



My twins are seniors this year and are about to launch into their very last semester of high school.  They both have over a 4.0 average (because of Honors and AP courses) and are working on SAT scores over 1400. The one who wants to be an Athletic Trainer is being mentored by the Athletic Training Director and the one that wants to be a music teacher by the Music Director.  When you think of all the people in this day and age that they could be emulating...I'm pretty pleased with their choices.  They are really good boys young men and the hubs and I are very lucky.

One of the things they have been working toward and looking forward to is being Teaching Assistants for each of their mentors.  They've each waited 3 1/2 years to do this.  They filled out their paperwork last year and got all the requisite approvals.  They've volunteered at every extra-curricular event and program to prepare themselves for something they take very seriously.  Everything was in place and proceeding as planned.

Then their guidance counselor lost the paperwork.  A couple of months ago, other people started talking about their TA assignments and they just happen to be the ones that my boys had been coveting and working toward.  These "others" did not possess the commitment to the roles that my boys did and just wanted an easy A and somewhere to goof off their last semester (in their humble opinions).  It was just not fair!  Lots of angry words and punching of pillows (I won't allow punching of walls but the testosterone has to go somewhere).  I told them to each make an appointment and discuss it with the counselor.  They did...they got nowhere.

"There's nothing that can be done.  The schedules have been set." 

Um...what?  Did you just dismiss my children like that?  Oh...I don't think so.

Now, let's be clear.  I'm not one of THOSE moms.  I do not fight my childrens' battles unless they've already had a shot at it.  I had a very long conversation with each of them where I explained that life wasn't always fair and that this would not be the last time that someone took their spot at something.  I said there would always be a time when someone got promoted before them, or took an assignment they wanted, or got a raise when it wasn't deserved.  That was life.  They nodded and tried to get over it.  They couldn't.

Neither could I.

So finally I called and made an appointment to see the counselor.  The "gatekeeper" at the school tried to convince me that she could help me or that this could be done over the phone.  I was not dissuaded.  I wanted a face to face meeting with the counselor, both boys and me - in the same room at the same time.  I wanted this resolved so that I never had to hear about it again.  I was prepared to open a can of whup ass on that school.  My boys knew it too.  When I asked them if they wanted me or their dad to go they both said in unison, "You!"  (Guess I'm way bitchier than dad...who knew?)

So this morning I put on my battle gear and we all sat down in the counselor's office.  The hubs had seen him the night before and told me that he was sure the guy was feeling guilty and would get this fixed so I didn't expect much of a fight.  What I did not expect and was thoroughly pleased with was a complete non-event.

It seems he'd been thinking about this issue and had come up with a solution.  We moved a couple of classes, called the TA position an Intern and viola', problem solved. 

So while this could have been done a month ago when all this started and it could have been done as a result of my boys having had a conversation like the men that they are and it could have demonstrated how well a calm resolution of issues can be accomplished and could have instilled a new level of confidence in their psyche rather than having their mommy come and fix stuff ..I'm just glad it's over and my boys' last semester in high school will be all that they wanted it to be.

And, secretly, I'm glad that no matter how old they get, sometimes they just need their mom.

Namaste

2 comments:

  1. Excuse me? A gatekeeper tried to keep you from speaking with your kids' counselor? Hello? These people should be glad they have parents concerned about their kids. I called my middle son's counselor on a weekly, sometimes daily basis to see how he was doing in school, especially when he was living with my ex. The middle kid always struggled, still does. When I started calling her about my youngest, she laughed and said, Relax Mary, Matt's going to be fine, you don't have to worry.

    I've been trying to make events out of non-events lately too, always imagining and preparing for the worst that can happen, and then nothing happens. Life seems to be conceding to my wants and needs.

    I'm not complaining.

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  2. I'm glad everything worked out for your family. That sounds like a very stressful situation. Your boys are lucky to have such a wonderful mom. Jenna

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