Thursday, January 10, 2013
Dealing with Frustration
Sometimes I get frustrated at work. Oh hell...I get downright pissed. My boss is still not totally sure of me AND she's a control freak AND my role has not been clearly defined so I end up being a very well paid gopher and assistant most of the time. It's frustrating because I'm a highly qualified learning professional and my skills are going to waste.
Of course I knew all this when I prayed for and took the job, because at the end of the day, it's the people and the company that are most important to me (assuming I'm being paid enough to live); but it still gets frustrating sometimes.
Right now I'm frustrated and I'm trying to figure out the best way to deal with it. It's hard to remember how I used to process frustration like this but I'm sure I wasn't doing it right. Which leaves me to wonder...how the hell do normal people deal with frustration?
I have learned to walk away, calm down, think...and then speak. Well...most of the time. But often that doesn't really get me over it. Sometimes I carry resentment that, as we all know, can sit and fester and rot until it does some real damage either to me or those unfortunate souls who happen to be in close proximity when it occurs. Well that can't be healthy either right?
I've also been trying to breathe through the resentment and what ends up happening is that total strangers will look at me like I'm hyper-ventilating and pull out their phones in the event I need 911 assistance. Clearly that's not the solution either...either that or I need a refresher on Ojai breathing techniques.
Sometimes I come out here, like I'm doing today, and write it down. Working through the feelings on "paper" is really, really helpful. People told me about "journaling" for years and I own some beautiful, completely blank, journals. It wasn't until I came to the blogging world that I realized how beneficial just writing it all down could be. It also helps that, for the most part, this blog has remained anonymous. It helps me to write freely.
I pray about it also. That is probably the best option but often I find God saying, "I'm with you kiddo but some things you have to process through on your own." Kind of what I say to my kids when they are struggling with something. But as my presence and support gives them comfort, His presence and support give me comfort as well. I just wish He could kiss my boo-boo and make it all better.
So I'm working on it. Many moons ago, I took a training course which was basically a bunch of pop-psychologists spoon feeding a lot of touchy feely bullshit. They did more damage than they did good. However, I took away two things from that ridiculous experience,
1. It is important to recognize when we are reacting to situations rather than really listening and seeing them for what they are and nothing more.
2. Most people are good and are not out to get you. Try not to take things (especially at work) so personally. Assume positive intent. This one remains the hardest for me to do...but I'm getting better.
So I will step back from this situation and breathe, pray, try to bring myself out of reaction and assume that this is about her and not me. This may take some time...