Wednesday, February 6, 2013
I'm Due For Some Gratitude
Well, I'm not due any gratitude...today it's directed to God and the Universe and all the wonderful angels who help me through my life. I haven't done one of these in a very long time so I understand why I have writer's block this morning. It's my psyche saying, "Yo trick...get to thankin' some peeps."
So here we go.
I am grateful first and foremost for my relationship with God. Even though I'm always over thinking it, analyzing it, trying to make it better and just generally screwing around with it - He never wavers, never abandons, never leaves my side or my heart. Be patient with me God, I'm just beginning to understand the depth of your love. Thank you.
I'm grateful for my sobriety. Three years ago I set aside my wine bottle because it was hurting my family. What started as a gift to them has become the greatest gift I have ever given myself. Even though my beast rears her ugly ass head from time to time and makes me think, she can't make me drink unless I allow it. I do not allow it. (Have I mentioned I'm a Taurus? I'm very stubborn and bull-headed...just ask the hubs.)
Speaking of whom...I am grateful for my husband. He saved and continues to save my life everyday. He's pretty cute too.
I'm grateful for my family. ALL of them. They are my life and the reason that I breathe. God put me on the planet to be a mom and I'm damn good at it. Thank you Lord for the gift of my family.
I'm grateful for a job and a roof and for all of the material blessings that I have. Even though we are struggling a little right now, I know that, if necessary, I could shed most of the shit I have and live on a lot less as long as I have "all of the above". I would sit on orange crates as long as I had "all of the above". (But let's not be literal Lord - give me the good sense to make the kinds of decisions that will keep my ample ass OFF those orange crates.)
I am grateful for the internal focus that recovery brings. I am grateful that I've begun to "let go" of some really old and cruddy crap that's been living in my head rent free. I am grateful that I've made room to really look at myself and realized that I'm okay...just the way I am...most days.
And finally, I am grateful for this blogging community and the friends I have made here and the solace you bring me when I'm confused, upset, happy or just bored. Thank you.