|Image courtesy of Google Images|
Ugh. I screwed up. I've done this before, spent money too fast on things that I regret later, but I thought I had moved past that.
I was wrong.
Last night, I got on the scale and it hit a number that no woman who is a mere 5'4 1/4" tall should ever see. I'll be honest, I'd been expecting it. I've been eating crap like a PMS'ing woman on death row. But when I actually SAW the number I freaked out. The hubs has been telling me that maybe I needed some kind of enhancer to help me lose weight. I know better. I know there is no magic pill. I knew I was reacting...
BUT I DID IT ANYWAY. I grabbed the car keys, jumped in the car and ran to Target where I spent $53 big ones on Alli. Yes, you heard me correctly...Alli. Alli of the gross side effects. Alli of the pull it off the market because of those side effects and then put it back on the market when the hype dies down. Alli of the "this only works when used in conjunction with a diet low in fat and a solid exercise plan". But I wasn't thinking clearly. I was VERY upset and in need of something I could hang my hope on.
I needed hope.
But I failed to do what I ALWAYS do, what I'm KNOWN for doing.
I didn't Google it. Damn it...I Google EVERYTHING.
What I got was a blue pill that will, apparently, leave me with orange underwear and shopping in the adult diaper aisle because of "leakage". What the fuck is "leakage"? Never mind, I don't want to know. I just want to return it. One problem, I was so excited that I opened the package, opened the bottle, set everything up and even left the books that explain the process with the hubs to read. I don't think I CAN return it now, but I'm sure as hell going to try. If...
...If the hubs gets my text about digging the Target bag out of the trash so that I can pack everything back up and return it to the store. (I think I left the receipt on my dressing table...or is it in the bag...or is it in my dressing table draw? Oh shit. No...no shit...that's why I want to take it back. Ewwww this is too gross even for me to discuss). We do not have $53 laying around to be wasted on stuff like this.
I hate it when I do stuff like this. Now I have to look at the hubs and apologize for wasting money we don't have when I know...I KNOW how I'm supposed to lose weight. It's a simple equation - Calories in < Calories Out + Calories Burned. But I ignored all that and went rushing out to piss away our hard earned money. Now I have guilt AND I've awakened that bitch that lives in my head who is cranky and has A LOT to say about this situation. I hate her but when she's right...she's right.