|Yeah...that's totally me in the picture.|
Thank you all for your wonderful comments and emails to help cheer me up. The hubs is taking back the vile substance and we had a chat this morning about how I need to not feel guilty about stuff like that and about how he needs to stop me when I get like that - BWAHAHAHAHA - he knows better than to try that...THAT's how I got out of the house the other night on my mission of doom. 30 years of marriage will do that to you.
One of those emails was from a new blogger, Kristin over at http://recoveryrequired.wordpress.com/ . She is newly sober and newly blogging. She's only posted twice but they are both really, really good. You should pop over and send her some blogger love (mainly cause I told her my legions of readers would be supportive...don't make me look bad...all three of you get over there now please). I also told her about the 100 Day Challenge that Belle over at Tired of Thinking About Drinking is doing and how so many people are having such great success. I've followed Belle since she started blogging - it's a beautiful thing to watch someone grow into the kind of person they deserve to be.
Which reminds me of a old blogger friend who has "retired" but who used to leave the most supportive and wonderful comments on my blog when I first started blogging. They would lift me up and carry me through even at my lowest and, even though she doesn't blog any longer, I try to honor that gift she gave me by paying it forward. It's the least I can do. Thank you Lou.
Anyway, we're in the last of our entertaining for work over the next two weeks. That means that almost every night I'll be out at some function. For the most part, I'm fine with it. Bars don't bother me anymore and I even helped my friend pick out some wines for her wedding last night by smelling them for her (yes...you read that right...I smelled them for her). But the event tonight is at an upscale restaurant where they pour a healthy glass of really good wine and the mood is relaxed and romantic. Doesn't really "bother" me so much as it gives me a pain in my posterior. Or maybe it's all the pompous ass in the room that gives me a pain there?
But back to smelling wine. I really really loved wine. I loved not only the taste, smell and feel of wine on my tongue but I loved the experience of drinking wine. The special glasses. The temperature. Letting certain wines breathe before pouring. I loved learning about new wines and vineyards and regions as well as learning what made them special.
Of course, that was all before I settled on big bottles of crap wine and boxes of wine with bota bags that you can squeeze to get every last drop from. You know...more bang for your buck with those.
When I first got sober, the thought of any of that fancy shit would trigger a craving and make my mouth water. Later, it was just the smell, oops...bouquet, of the wine that would start the juices flowing. Now? Nah. I'm not going to risk the happy for the wine experience that I would only end up ruining anyway. Let's face it, you never see an 50+ year old woman who is falling down drunk and slurring her words while crying about how much she hates her life, on one of those Napa Valley wine commercials. You only see a bunch of normies sitting outside under an arbor of wisteria and grapevines, clinking glasses and smiling, smiling, smiling as the sun sets in the distance.
Because THAT's so normal. Um-hmm.
So I smelled it, and gave her my opinion along with her other friend who was actually drinking. And can you guess what I found most interesting about all of it? I'll bet you can.
That they could let the waitress take away half full glasses of the wine they didn't like.
What the fuck is THAT about? Normies freak me out sometimes. ;-)