Sunday's With Jenny

Don't 'ya just love Valerie?

Down another 1.6.  It's "okay".  I know I should be pleased with anything between the one and two pound range, but I was really hoping to be closer to the two pounds.  My counselor (Faith...how perfect is that) and I decided that I needed to bump up my activity to get this thing jump started.  Since there's no way I'm giving up my daily yoga practice, I'm going to start walking the dogs in the mornings.  They'll be thrilled and I'll get some more activity.

Who needs sleep right?

As I was driving around yesterday doing my normal Saturday thing, I began thinking about what makes this time different than the other dozen or so times I've tried to get my healthy body back since I quit drinking.  I came up with a few possible reason...

First, I'm ready.  Just like I had to be ready to quit smoking and I had to be ready to quit drinking, I had to be ready to really commit and make this happen.  I've been through a lot of emotional highs and lows since I set down my wine glass and I guess I'm a "one commitment at a time" kind of gal (just ask the hubs).  I have to put my whole heart and soul into something to make it work and I can only do that for one life event at time.

The second reason is that I've done a lot of soul searching when it comes to my body, its size and my health.  I had to let go of the notion that my weight in any way, defines who I am.  It does not.  I am more than a number on a little white box and since I've stopped worrying about that little white box and what it has to say to me, my attitude about losing weight and being healthy has changed completely.

For example, I have not once in the last two weeks stepped on our home scale.  (In spite of my pleas it remains in our bathroom - but I put it in the water closet with the toilet.  That's where it belongs.)  What's more, I haven't even been tempted.  I simply do not care.  I weigh each week at Jenny in the event that my diet has to be changed to keep me on track but the actual number means nothing to me...and that, my friends, is truly miracle.  I am interested in how I look in my clothes and how I feel and that is directly related to the number on the scale - but I no longer allow it to dictate my mood from day to day.  What a relief!

In addition, because my meals are planned down to the last calorie, I don't have to think about food.  There's no obsession with calories vs. activity.  There's no worry about what this or that will do to my diet.  There's no excuse not to pack lunch because all I have to do is grab a meal and go!  It takes food out of my head and puts it where it belongs, in my digestive system.

This freedom has enabled me to focus on mindful eating.  My mantras during the last two weeks have been, "It's only food," "Think about why you want to eat," and "What, exactly, will that do to your body?"  It's been very helpful and I can prove it.

My favorite all time food is pizza.  Any kind of pizza any where.  I like NY Style pizza as much as I like Chuck E Cheese pizza.  I eat frozen pizza and I make my own from time to time.  I am an equal opportunity pizza freak.  On Friday I had to cater in lunch and my boss wanted pizza.  It arrived and smelled heavenly.  Now if I told you that I didn't want that pizza I would expect you to call bullshit on me because it would be a load of bullshit.  Of course I wanted some of that pizza - I'd have to be dead not to have wanted some of it.

But I didn't even think about actually eating it.

That's the revelation.  I went and got my Jenny pizza (yep...I planned for it and it worked) and I ate my salad while everyone else scarfed down their lunch.  I didn't begrudge them their pizza and I didn't dwell on the fact that I couldn't have any.  I just acknowledged it and moved the hell on.

Cue the choir of angels...that's another freaking miracle.

So week three begins and I'm still on the Jenny train and lighter by 3.4 pounds.  Works for me!

Namaste