Out Out Damned Scale

I'm doing it again...I'm becoming obsessed with the scale.  Even during my first Whole 30 I couldn't stay off the damn thing.  It's like a magnet.  I should probably get rid of it but everyone else in the house uses it responsibly except me.  They might jump on if a waistband is too tight or loose where as I jump on when I eat a cookie.  Hmmm - they do it like normal people and I do it like addicted people.  Yep, that's about right.

Anyway, since returning to eating a more normal diet (sans gluten, dairy, legumes and refined sugar products...for the most part), I've slowly but surely slipped back into old habits.  I find myself obsessing about what I'm going to eat and when.  I'm on that frigging scale every morning like clockwork.  I'm constantly concerned with how many steps I've walked today.

Really, it's not the old habits that I'm concerned about as much as I am the space it's taking up in my head.  If it moves in the wrong direction it can ruin my day.  Really Sherry?  You let a square box tell you how your day will be?  And if that's not enough, yet another character in the cast of characters that lives in my head has to chime in...How many steps did I get today?  Today I'm only going to eat healthy.  I wonder if I could have a piece of that birthday cake and how many steps it would take to burn it off?  What is in the house that I can eat?  I should log onto MyFitnessPal and check to see how many calories my Pumpkin Spice Latte has.  Oh my God I am such a loser because I ate on of those amazing cupcakes that my friend brought to the pot luck AND a piece of bread with dinner!

STOP!!!

I can't do this anymore.  I need some peace and quiet.  I want my fucking Zen back!

So once again I'm making a vow to make some changes.  No more getting on the scale.  No more worrying about calories (especially since I know how to eat for my body now).  I'll wear my pedometer (fitbit) and try to get my 10,000 steps a day in but if I don't, it's not the end of the world.  When I wake up in the morning and my first thought is about the size of my ass, I'll gently admonish myself and say something nice to me.  When I go to bed at night and my last thought is about how much I ate that day I will again admonish and gently remind myself that humans must have sustenance to survive.  Eating is a normal part of everyone's life and I've learned what's good for my body and what is not.

I may even start a journal where as soon as I get up in the morning I write something about myself that is positive to jumpstart my day.  Then in the evening I'll write something positive that occurred that day to send me off to dreamland feeling good about me.

I read a book recently that described alcoholism as the symptom of what is wrong with alcoholics.  We drink to numb what's really wrong with us. The longer I'm sober the more I realize how true this statement is.  I am one fucked up human being.

But I'm sober and I'm happy and since 99.9% of the population is screwed up too, I'm in good company.

Namaste

A Minor Detour

I'm taking a detour on my second Whole30.  I know why they only recommend 30 days on this sucker.  I'm kind of...um...sort of...OVER IT.  Okay, that's not entirely true.  I'm still not eating gluten - no pasta, no bread.  I'm not eating sugar - no honey, no white sugar, no "ose" of any kind.  I'm not eating dairy - no yogurt (Greek or otherwise).  No alcohol (duh).  I try not to eat anything I can't pronounce.  I also try to stay away from stuff that has more than three ingredients.  I AM eating lots of veggies, nuts, fruit and protein.  All of that is good.  It's the very strict "whole" food part that I'm over.  It's becoming stressful.  Stress raises my cortisol levels and results in inflammation...okay...that's a huge rationalization but I don't want you guys to think I'm giving up.

I'm not!  There is no pizza or Ghiradelli Chocolate (even thought I'm in San Francisco this week) or bagel as big as my head in my future.  I'm just broadening my perspective on this thing.  According to "It Starts With Food", that's exactly where I should have gone after I finished my first Whole30.  As they say, it's not called the Whole365.

I'm ready to move to a Paleo diet.  Yes, Whole30 is a version of Paleo but, from what I can tell, Paleo is less restrictive.  I like that my Whole30 reset my neurotransmitters, hormones and everything else that was fucked up in my system but now my body is telling me it needs more.  My...um...digestive system is signaling that it needs something else to process that is a little more complicated than fruit and veggies.  (That's as delicate as I can get guys...you'll have to infer whatever you infer.)

My energy is also down.  Lots of yawning and sleepiness.  I know I'm sleeping okay because I bought this fancy new pedometer.  It's called a FitBit and it's cool as hell.  I wear it all day and it tells me (accurately) how many steps I've taken and calories I've burned.  I don't care so much about the calorie burn because since I started on this plan I've stopped counting them (thank GOD) but I'm committed to 10,000 steps a day and I haven't been able to get an accurate pedometer to help me with that.  My last one told me it took me 368 steps to go from my bedroom to the kitchen.  It's actually only about 30 steps.  D'oh!

The cool thing about this FitBit is that I wear it while I sleep and it tells me how I'm sleeping.  How restless I was.  How many times I woke during the night.  How long I actually "slept".  This is how I know I'm sleeping okay.  Plus, I'm old enough to know when I'm not getting good sleep and when I am....it's really not rocket science.

So I'm going to lighten up on how strict I am with this thing.  I've ordered Well Fed by Melissa Joulwan so the hubs and I can start cooking Paleo and slowly but surely ease my boys over to the light.  The Force is strong with this one people...I know I can be successful.  I'm convinced that Darth Vadar owns most of the stock in McDonalds anyway.  That can't be good you know?

How about you guys?  Are you out there?  Are you hanging in or have you thrown in the towel?  It's okay either way.  Just comment and tell us where you are?  If you had to step off the path, tell us what brought you to that decision and if you learned anything from your experience?  Has it changed your perspective or is it just a load of crap? 

More from the left coast to come...I'm here all week folks.  Don't forget to tip your waitstaff.

Namaste

In the clear light of day...

So last night I posted about how this eating plan has become a way of life for me and how it's been much easier than quitting smoking or drinking was.  And in the bright light of a beautiful morning - it's all still true!  It's just that I've been feeling like I could do MORE and really amp this thing up.  I'm a little behind in my Whole30 Daily emails so I began to catch up on them this morning.  And low and behold, I found some answers.

I've been wondering why I'm not as fruit crazy as I was in the beginning of this thing.  In my first go round, I craved fruit like it was my only form of sustanance.  I swear I lived off watermelon the last two weeks of my first go round.  Now?  Not so much.  I still have fruit every day but it's a small amount and not nearly as bad as before.  Turns out this is a GOOD thing.  Here are the five common errors from Whole30 Daily Day 7.  (If you haven't signed up for this newsletter you should.  Each day is chock full of great information no matter what day you are on.  Just go to www.whole9life.com and click on Whole30 Daily.)

I've been guilty of all of these (yes...even getting on the scale) except the Paleo food thing (mainly because I've been too busy to look for recipes).  So I'm going to be extra careful while I'm in it this time to watch the fruit, nuts, and scale thing.

My Day 8 Newsletter is full of inspirational stories from people who have found the miracle.  Some brought me to tears.  Some made me cheer.  All made me recommit.  Go onto the website and check out success stories.  Like my "drunk books", these stories are like a booster shot for me.

Hope your plan is going well!  Feel free to share.  I love it when I know what's going on (yes...because I'm a little nosey) in your lives.  Good or bad - we're all in this together.

Namaste

Roll Call

My second Whole30 isn't as...um...dramatic as the first time around.  This time is actually kind of boring.  It's like I've been eating this way all my life so now it's just...well...normal.  I'm remembering what my eating habits used to be like - minus the bread.  I've always loved bread...I still love bread but it's the way I love wine...It doesn't love me.  At least with bread if I eat some I'm not going to wake up wondering who put the little sweaters on my teeth and who I may or may not have pissed off the night before.

But to tell you the truth, I don't miss it.  Not only that...I don't miss chocolate.  After only 30 days of abstinence.  I don't know about my fellow alcoholics out there but I could NOT say that about my beloved Chardonnay after only 30 days.  At 30 days I was still trying to call myself a "problem drinker" and figuring out how long I could be abstinent before I could officially be cured and have a drink on "special occasions".  Hey, you guys know me, I tell it like it is and that was how it was.

It wasn't like that when I quit smoking.  Once the nicotine had left my system and I had gotten over my emotional addiction I was DONE.  There was no way I was going through that hell again.  No fucking way.  That was the worst withdrawal I've ever been through and I didn't want to go back.  Every day clean was one more day of healing for my lungs.

That kind of commitment didn't happen with the booze for...um...a while.  I'd say, honestly, it was after I reached a year of sobriety.  That was about the time that I figured out that I was an honest to goodness alcoholic (although, I have to admit that I still really hate that word) and that there was no going back.  I think that's when I really started to enter recovery.  It probably would have been easier if I'd gone to AA but we all have to take our own paths through this quagmire and I did what worked for me.

ANYWAY (I do tend to go on don't I) sugar has been the easiest of all.  The withdrawals were shorter (although intense) and the benefits became evident within the first two weeks.  More energy.  Better sleep.  No hunger between meals.  No ravenous hunger....well...if you've been on this thing for more than two weeks then you already know.  If you haven't, stick with it...you will.

So how are you doing?  Let's have a roll call.  Who's still in and how many days do you have under your belt?  AND...what's the best benefit you've found?

Namaste

On the Wagon but Off the Mat

I drive myself crazy sometimes...you know?  I just wish I would learn to give myself a break and learn some PATIENCE.  Over the years (and with the help of some really good meds) I've developed patience for the world and its people that has seen me through some trying times.  Not much ruffles my feathers anymore.  Most things are just not worth getting all bent out of shape over.  I like to cultivate a Zen existence.

But when it comes to me.  Ha!  I have no patience.  I want what I want and I want it now and if I can't make it happen then I'm a total and complete failure to myself and society on the whole.  My latest "issue" with myself is my yoga and meditation practice...or lack thereof.  For most of the last 90+ days or so, I've only been on the mat maybe once or twice.  I moved out of my meditation/yoga room downstairs and returned it to the hubs for his office (which is good because instead of going upstairs to his desk, he was using my kitchen counter as an office).  I moved my mat, altar and lifeboard to the nook in our master bedroom.  I thought the change in venue might spur some action on my part.

Not so much.  About all its done is made me feel guilty about NOT doing it every time I look at it...sitting there...getting dusty.  Sigh...

I have a million excuses.  It's been too hot (it has).  I'm working crazy hours and am constantly tired (that was true until my first Whole30...now I have energy to spare).  I should spend the few hours that I have walking the dogs instead of on the mat (they DO need walking - but...um...I'm not getting that done either).  I'll do it after vacation.  I'll start Monday.  Blah, blah freaking blah.

Why is it that the things that are GOOD for us we put off doing?  Why do we make it so hard?  The bad stuff we jump right into with gusto.  Yeah!  Give me another glass of wine!  I'm not driving!  Har har har.  Sure, I'll have another piece of cake!  YOLO!  Let me try some of that fried cheese...it's the fair after all!  Mmmmm....pizza...I'm on VACATION!

No problem at all.

But let me think about doing something that I know, for a fact, will reset my hormones, recharge my batteries, bring me closer to God and make me a more centered human and all of a sudden I'm the busiest woman on the planet and there is just no time.

Once again...I'm gonna have to call bullshit on myself.  And hit the mat.  TONIGHT.

Namaste

PS - Any Whole30 updates out there?  How are you guys doing?  Any stories to share?  I feel fantastic (well...except for the whole yoga/meditation thing).

Whole 30 Daily Suggestions...

I'm getting the Whole 30 Daily via email every morning and let me tell you, I wish I'd had it the first time around.  It's chock full of great information about how I may be feeling and what I can do about it.  You can sign up on www.whole9life.com (for a one time fee of $14.95) if you're interested or need some additional coaching.

This morning, the focus is on hunger vs. cravings and how to tell when you're hungry vs when you're bored, or lonely or pissed off.  There are also a few tips to keep you committed to this journey.

From the Whole 30 Daily (my comments are in parentheses and italics):

• Keep tempting food and drink out of your house completely.  If it's not there, you can't indulge.  (I decided that my kids didn't need this crap either so we're keeping it out of the house completely.  They are old enough to  make their own decisions about whether or not they want to get junk food.  I don't have to be an enabler but I still need to be a good influence.)
• Enlist a supportive friend or loved one to hold you to your commitment.  Make it fun by betting on your success - if you finish your Whole 30, the other one has to buy you that new pair of jeans or that new fitness DVD you've been eyeing. (For me, that person is the hubs.  I have a goal weight in mind and when I get there, I'm going to buy a very expensive pair of kick ass jeans.  You guys are also my supportive friends and loved ones.  You all get the whole, unadulterated truth NO MATTER WHAT.)
• Tell on yourself. Before you open the box of cookies or pour that glass of wine, jump onto the Whole 30 forum or call your best friend and announce, "I'm planning to go off the Whole 30."  Telling someone will force you to really think about what you're about to do and is often all you need to put the cookies down.  (You can email me - my email address is in my profile - or just post on this blog or your own blog.  If I know our blogging community, you're going to get a lot of support and encouragement NOT to open that bag of chocolate chips cookies.)
• Check yourself into "rehab", if necessary.  During the toughest days when the cravings are th worst, don't allow yourself to accept dinner or happy hour invitations, and don't participate in activities that revolve around eating or drinking less healthy food.  (Come on people...this is not new for most of us.  Many of us gave up drinking for God's sake!  Some of us have quit smoking!  We KNOW how this works.  If we really, really want this...there is nothing that can stop us!  We're fucking warriors!  We've got this thing!)

I do want to suggest that if you are new to sobriety and you're finding this challenge difficult.  DON'T CONTINUE.  Your sobriety is the most important thing right now and this shit is hard (at first).  If you have to give in to something, do not pick up a drink.  Eat the damn cookies.  There will be plenty of opportunities to get your diet in order after you have some sober time under your belt.  Nothing, and I mean nothing, is more important than staying sober.  The end.

Now for my own confession.  I'm finding it a little difficult to get back on the band wagon.  The hubs brought Oreos in the house the other day (they were on SALE...wtf?) and I'll admit to eating some of them a lot of them.  That's my only cheat and they're gone now so I'll be okay going forward.  I'm going to get on the scale and see what damage I did while I was on "vacation" as well.  And my cold is better so that should help.  Enough excuses.  I fucked up and I'm back on track.  'Nuff said.

Now for the hard part...If I'm brutally honest, the Oreos didn't taste like they used to.  That made me sad (in a way).  And then it reaffirmed that the shit isn't what I thought it was and I don't need it in my body.  (Of course it may just be that my taste buds are a mess because of the cold...but we're going to go with the Whole 30 thing being the reason.)

Hopefully you are all hanging in there.  If you are and you've discovered a good thing to eat (like Annette's olives or Amy's Chocolate Chili with avocados) or a strategy that keeps you on track SHARE IT!  We can all use an extra push.  If you, like me, have "slipped" and need to get it back together then share that too!  We're here for you and will only give love and encouragement.  No judgement here!

Namaste

Tips, Tricks and oh yeah...I'm sick...

I'm sick.  I seldom get sick so when I do I feel like a big baby.  So what.  What's more, my favorite cough drop (Ricola Original Herb) has sugar in it.  Again...so what.  I'm also making chicken soup with noodles on the side for everyone else.  I just want the soup part anyway.

It's funny how when you're sick you convince yourself that you "deserve" things.  I'm sick...I deserve a cookie.  I'm sick...I deserve that sherbet.  I'm sick...I deserve a pedicure.  (Okay - that last one I may just do but I want to wait until I'm sure I won't infect the poor technician.)  It reminds me of the rationalization I used to go through every day when I was drinking.  I broke a nail...I deserve a drink.

But I'm not going to eat poorly just because I'm sick; especially since I believe that eating like crap may have helped to get me sick in the first place.  I'm going to eat well and nourish my body so I can get well.  I'm going to stick to the plan.

Speaking of the plan, if you're new to the Whole 30 and you're feeling hungry don't despair.  Part of that is normal (I figured it was my body throwing a temper tantrum because I wasn't giving it the sugar it wanted) and it may also be that you're not eating enough at your meals.  Eat slowly at each meal and eat until you are full.  Your body will tell you when you're full.  Soon your hormones and body will begin to sync up and you won't be hungry in between meals anymore.

I'll admit to still struggling with the nighttime munchies.  The lower floor of our home is one big open space so the kitchen is there ALL THE TIME.  It's like a whining child in my ear sometimes.  "Come on!  EAT!  You know you're hungry.  You know you want something.  At least go stare at the open refrigerator...maybe you'll be inspired!  There's bound to be something new in there that wasn't there the last 20 times you looked right?  Right?"  I used to give in because I thought I...wait for it...deserved it.  But I've learned a few tricks to silence that whiny little brat.

I go up to my room to watch TV.  I do not watch the Food Network (not even Chopped with all of it's weird ingredients and especially not Diners Drive-ins and Dives!)  I paint my nails.  I read "It Starts With Food".  I surf the net and look for success stories from people who are as committed to this plan as I am.  I go to bed early.  I brush my teeth.

Anything to keep from eating when I'm not hungry.  If I really AM hungry (which is seldom), I'll grab a piece of fruit, a grilled chicken breast or a small handful of nuts.  Then I take whatever I've chosen back upstairs so that when I've finished eating it, it's a pain in the ass to go back downstairs for more.

Hey...whatever works.

So, as they say in certain parts of the NE...how YOU doin'?

Namaste

Things I've Noticed While Away

While I was "away" from the Whole 30 eating plan I noticed a few things that really surprised me...a lot.

I like fruit.  I've never been a fruit eater preferring to get my carbohydrates in a simpler form...white bread, pasta, sugar.  I could never develop a taste for it...until now.  Yay Whole 30.

Eating like crap for a few days really did lower my immune system.  I was reading "It Starts With Food" last night and it turns out that it CAN happen.  Shit.

Crap tastes like...well...crap.  The food we ate on the road (mainly McDonalds) not only didn't appeal to me when I thought about it, it mainly tasted like salt, chemicals, and cardboard.

Eating sugar for a brief period did not make me lose my mind AND it did not wake my beast.  If I'm honest, it didn't even taste that good.  I mean...it was good...but when I weigh all the bad stuff with a little bit of taste...it just wasn't worth it.  I'm also not craving it.  Hmmm..,

I guess I thought that by eating garbage I would undo all the good I had done and go right back to my old habits.  Not true at all.  If anything, I craved the good habits I had cultivated and wanted to get back to them as soon as possible.

So to those of you just getting started, hang in there for at least two weeks.  Apparently our bodies are smarter than we are...

Namaste 

Today's the Day!

This day could not have come at a better time.  I just spent the last six days traveling and celebrating and eating nothing but CRAP.  The road doesn't offer many options (never did see another grocery store) and while in OK I tried to eat well but, after all, it was a wedding!  I also caught my granddaughter's cold which I'm (likely erroneously) blaming on the fact that my diet was so bad while I was there.  You know...eating like crap likely lowered my immune system?  Who knows if it's true or not - but it works for me.

So even though I'm stuffed up and have a sore throat, I am ready to rock this thing.  Here's my plan...be sure to share yours as well.  Remember that you don't have to be perfect.  Even a small step in the right direction will be enough.  Just commit to 30 days and let the magic unfold on its own.  I promise it will.

• No sugar of any kind including artificial sweeteners or natural sweeteners
• No dairy (no more goat cheese on my salad and no more lattes...not even once a week)
• No legumes
• No grains
• No alcohol (duh)
• Nothing with more than 3 ingredients or ingredients I can't pronounce.

Instead I'll select whole, nutrient rich food that will nourish my body instead of my mind.  Yep...you read that right.  During my previous Whole 30 I realized that the hold sugar had on me (like the hold alcohol had on me) was more about what was going on in my head than what was going on in my stomach.

I know...I can be dense sometimes.

I'm keeping my coffee creamer (sorry Mary and Mrs D) and the jury is out on Pepsi Max...I'm going to give that a valiant effort but I'm not making any promises.  I'm going to try.  (Yes...I said try.  Screw you Yoda.)

So how about you?  If you're already in the game how are you doing?  What are your challenges?  More importantly, what are your victories?  And if today is day one for you, what have you done to ensure your success?

Let's do this thing!

Namaste

Food Notes from the Road

It's hard eating well when you're traveling.  Yesterday I woke up and had two scrambled eggs for breakfast; then we hit the road to Oklahoma from South Carolina.

About one we stopped to pee (me) and get something to eat.  I was a little panicked because all I saw was Golden Arches (my phone just spell checked that and put in the capital letters...how sad).  Anyway, I looked around and found my answer...right across the street was a grocery store!  They have bathrooms AND fresh food.

I got cut up watermelon and pineapple, a bag of grapes and some almonds and cashews.  Success!

Until dinner time rolled around...not a grocery store in sight.  I was left with two honey mustard grilled snack wraps from McDonald's.  Gross.

We stopped for the night at a Marriott Property (I like their points).  This morning we went to partake of their "free" breakfast (at 120.00 a night that breakfast wasn't free).  Powdered eggs, veggie sausage, sad looking strawberries and some pineapple and then carbs, carbs, carbs.  Fortunately they also had some hard boiled eggs.  I grabbed two and off we went.  I have a baby to see and a wedding to attend!

Here's hoping today's food options are better.  I ate way too many nuts yesterday. 

Namaste

Interlude

So the hubs and I are off to the nephew's wedding.  We leave tomorrow morning and won't be back until next Tuesday.  It's likely that there won't be any posts from me while we're gone so...well...I guess that means we're all on our own until that magical of magical days...September 18th.

I'll be reading and commenting while I'm gone because I'm bringing my iPad (duh).  I just won't be posting because it's too hard to do on that dang thing.

So do what you have to do to get ready.  Eat all the crap NOW.  Clean out your pantry and refridgerator.  Do all your meal planning.  Search for new recipes.  Stock your shelves with good stuff.  Get used to shopping on the perimeter of the grocery store where all the fresh food are kept.  Weigh and measure your "before" self.  Do as much research as you are able.

I'll check back in as soon as I get back (with pictures of course).

And in honor of all of those whose lives were lost or changed forever 13 years ago today I have this prayer.

And Shanti is peace...Om shanti.  God Bless America.

Namaste

Whole 30 Phase 1 - Done

How Hollywood defines success.

How I define it...

At the end of the day today, I will have completed my first Whole 30 with only the following "cheats".

• Goat cheese on my daily lunch salad.
• Non-dairy coffee creamer in my coffee.
• Diet sodas.
• 1 Uber brownie
• Gum

Overall?  I kicked some Whole 30 ass.  What's more, I feel fantastic.  No more sugar cravings and if I do have one, I know what triggered it and can eliminate that from my diet (gum...kicks my but and makes me want more, more, more...it's gone).  No more feeling bloated.  No more constipation (that's HUGE).  I've lost 8 pounds as of yesterday (I just couldn't wait one minute longer to get on the scale!)  I'll check again tomorrow morning but I couldn't be any more pleased.  Why?  Well I'm glad you asked!  Read on my friends.

I did this without having to think about, count, weigh or measure one damn thing.  I have done every diet ever on the market.  Because of that, food and the management of it has become a way of life for me.  An obsession.  My own personal prison.  Because it's always been this way, it's all I ever knew.  Gain some weight?  Go on Scarsdale for a couple of weeks.  Looking pudgy?  Enroll in Jenny Craig (or Nutrisystem). Weight out of control?  Weight Watchers...it's works for everyone right?  Yes - but not in the long term for me.

Why?  Because I wanted something I could do forever.  I wanted a way of life.  I wanted to make peace with food.  I wanted peace of mind.

I found it.  Thank you God for answering my prayers and giving me the courage to jump into my "science experiment".  Thank you for not letting me quit in the first two weeks when I thought I might kill someone. Thank you for making me stubborn.

Now my head is quiet.  No only is the beast still sleeping, but I'm not obsessing about food.  How much, what type, when and how much fat, carbs and calories are in each bite.  AND I'm not obsessing about how much I'll have to work out in order to burn the calories, fat and carbs.  Which brings me to my second point which is even more important.

I didn't work out once during this entire thirty days.  As I've mentioned before, this is our busy season at work which leaves absolutely no time for exercise.  Additionally, it's been so freaking hot and even more humid that this 50+, post menopausal woman has not left the house most of the summer.  I've missed moving my body but I have not obsessed about it.  Before, the guilt of not working out would have overwhelmed me and been a constant reminder of what a failure I am.  Not now.  Now I can move for pleasure and health and not calorie burn. (Imagine that!)  So if I decide to take up running, or Zumba, or become a yoga instructor, it will be because I WANT to and not because I have to do something to burn the calories I eat.

Wait.  What?

I'm telling you, without a shadow of a doubt, this is a miracle.  Someone call the Pope, this is a bona fide miracle and should be documented.

I don't think about what I need to or should or want to eat.  I eat because I'm hungry and that's all.  I enjoy my food and I make sure it's tasty but I'm not using food to fill a void.  Just like when I stopped drinking, I'm figuring out how to deal with those feelings head on and not trying to go around them.  I'm eating to live and not living to eat.

Unbelievable.

So I'm taking a break for a week while I go to my nephew's wedding and I'm not worried one single bit about what or how I'll cope.  I'm not worried about it the same way I'm not worried about the booze that will be at the wedding.  I'll just deal.  If it gets too much I'll step out.  I'll meditate.  I'll go back to the hotel and do some yoga.  I'll grab my granddaughter and play with her.  Not a problem.  At all.

When I return I'll embark on Phase II of my Whole 30 journey.  September 18th.  My newsletter will begin to arrive from the website (see my last post for details) which I wish I had done the first time around.  I've decided that I'm giving up the goat cheese and the diet soda and the gum but the jury is out on the creamer.  We'll see.  The reason I've added the goat cheese is that I'm still very congested at night.  When I was a child I was "allergic" to milk.  Every time I drank it, I got congested and developed pneumonia.  I'm no doctor but I can follow that protocol.  I'll take it out and see if it helps.  If not, I can always add it back in.

Science right?

Miracle?  Yes.

So how about you?  Here's where we are with our Challenge...

Mrs. D - 9/18
Annette - 8/26
Carrie - 8/29
Jessie - 9/8 (Good luck!)
Penelope - 9/18
Connie - 9/18
Dawn - 918
Amy - 9/18 (Amy...would you share the meditations you mentioned?)

If I've missed you, please chime in!  I haven't been very good about recording who's in and who isn't but I'm doing better now.  I have a little book that I'm using to record names and dates so we can check in with each other from time to time.

Namaste guys, I wish you Shanti...peace.

Some Whole 30 Information

I've been out on the Forums at the Whole 30 site.  Today I saw this...

Snacking is discouraged for the following reasons:
1) Your meals should satisfy you until the next meal
2) Your digestive system needs time to recover in between meals. Without any food to process.
3) Snacking leads to over eating or eating foods with no brakes.  (Food with no breaks is described in the book as food like oreos that are designed to get your neurotransmitters revved so you want/need to go back for more...and more...and more.)

There were also a few comments that mentioned the fact that in weeks 1-3, some (me) ate like there wasn't enough food on the planet for them (me) to get full.  Apparently, THIS IS NORMAL.  Eat when your body tells you you are hungry.  Check in with yourself to be sure you're not bored, or stressed, or emotional but if you're hungry, eat.  I can attest that this wears off as time goes by.  I'm usually not hungry until meal times and even then, not nearly as much as I used to be.

For example, I was late getting home last night.  Everyone was somewhere else and my friend was picking me up in 20 minutes to go do another painting (she's addicted...I go along for the ride) and I had no time to fix anything.  I wasn't that hungry but I knew if I didn't eat something I'd be in trouble later and would be in a position to just go buy anything which usually equates to junk.  So I grabbed one of my trust pieces of chicken (which I shared with the dogs...shhh...we're not supposed to be feeding the dogs people food) and a small handful of nuts.  When I got home I had another small handful of nuts and I was fine.  Better than fine.  I was GREAT.  Go figure.

There's a whole post on "Can I have..." out there.  The bottom line for me is that I'd rather focus on what I CAN have rather than what I CAN'T.  Plus, I'm busy and a little bit stupid where science is concerned so the KISS principle applies when it comes to food (Keep It Simple Stupid).  I'm eating meat prepared with olive oil or baked.  Big salads dressed with olive oil and balsamic vinegar and loaded with cucumbers, olives, peppers, tomatoes, grilled chicken and my "cheat", goat cheese.  Eggs - hard boiled or scrambled.  Meat and whatever vegetable the hubs has cooked for dinner (or put out to be cooked) or another salad (in case they are eating something else).  When I need a snack, during the witching hour or the 4:00 hunger attack, it's fruit or nuts (but I'm being very careful about this as well...I tend to go overboard on the nuts).

But sometimes I weird myself out.  Should I eat this fruit?  Is this creamer really going to ruin everything?  How many nuts was that again?  OMG my goat cheese is DAIRY?  They are going to vote me off the island!

And then I read this, from Robin Strathdee, Whole 9 Director of Communications:

"Please don't over think think this. You don't have to address every food related issue you have, break every bad habit, and shun every food that gives you comfort to succeed with your Whole30. If you need to you can always extend or repeat the process, and things will get better each time you do."

Whew!  That's a relief.  I'm just going to keep on keepin' on...

Namaste

PS - I just signed up for the Whole 30 Daily which you can read about here.  It's designed for those going through the program for the first time but I wanted to try it for my next go round.  Looks like good stuff.

And So Week Four Begins

Wow...I'm in the last 7 days of my Whole 30.  Who knew?

As I was thinking about what comes after the Whole 30 (or Whole 30 Phase II), I started thinking about what I would add back into my diet.  What have I been missing that I can't wait to add back in?

Um...

I can't think of anything.  (Of course I've only begun reading, It Starts With Food so we'll see what they recommend.)

Part of the reason is that I haven't been as strict as I could have been the last three weeks.  I eat goat cheese on my massive lunch salad every day.  I've had two lattes.  I drink diet sodas and put non-dairy creamer in my coffee.  I ate a brownie.  I ate greek yogurt one day when there was nothing else available. (Note...watch your um...digestive system if you go without yogurt for awhile and then add it back in.)  I chew sugarless gum when I drive.  Perhaps those things are "allowed" after the 30 days are over.  I'll have to keep reading.

For now I guess I'll just keep going the way I'm going and doing what I'm doing.  My nephew is getting married on September 14th and the hubs and I are driving to OK for the wedding (I can't WAIT).  It's a road trip...and a wedding.  There will be barbeque...and "road" food...and wedding cake.  While it's true that I'll be in between Whole 30's, I still need to mind my p's and q's lest I blow up like that little girl in Willy Wonka.  I'll be very interested to see how I behave when turned loose on the world.  No matter what, I do not want to wake up my beast.  He's sleeping comfortably and I want him to stay that way.

I like the quiet in my head.

When I return I will embark on the next 30 days of clean eating where I eliminate diet soda and coffee creamer from my diet.  This morning I decided to look at the ingredients of each...

Pepsi Max
Carbonated water, caramel color, phosphoric acid, aspartame, potassium benzoate (preserves freshness), caffeine, natural flavor, acesulfame potassium, citric acid, calcium disodium EDTA (to protect flavor), panax ginseng extract.   

International Delights French Vanilla Coffee Creamer
Water, cane sugar, palm oil.  Contains 2% or less of each of the following: sodium caseinate, dipotassium phosphate, natural and artificial flavors, mono and diglycerides, sodium stearoyl lactylate, polysorbate 60, carrageenan, salt.

Uh...well if that ain't a shitstorm of chemicals I don't know what is.  Actually, I Googled some of these things and they aren't as bad as I thought they would be.  But they are still chemicals and processed and don't belong in my body.  Period. 

Overall I think I'm doing pretty damn good (bad grammar intended).  Last night the hubs made spaghetti (with my blessing) and some very yummy, very large meatballs.  I ate two meatballs and had some watermelon and that was perfect.  I had already consumed my daily dose of two eggs and my massive lunch salad where I get a lot of my veggies so going light on dinner was fine.  Plus, I felt great and that's the real test.  I'm learning to listen to the cues my body gives me about what I need and when.

It's nice to be home.

Namaste

Life takes on meaning when you become motivated, set goals and charge after them in an unstoppable manner.  ~Les Brown

Post Script

A big welcome to SoberJessie who originally wanted to start on 9/3 but was smart enough to recognize that 9/9 was probably a better date since she had to bake a German chocolate cake next weekend.  Way smarter than me Jessie!

And also to J who shares something in common with me and is starting on 9/9.

Welcome ladies!!!

Bumps in the Road

I have a feeling this blog may become ALL about clean eating for the next six weeks or so so if you're bored by all of this, you might want to go ahead and click the little x in the upper right hand corner...now.

I have some observations to share and a confession of sorts..since we're being brutally honest and everything and...well...it's how I roll.  Plus, how the hell can we learn anything from each other if we don't share...warts and all?

My friend had a cookout yesterday and asked me to bring something sweet.  Yes...you read that right and yes, she knows about my Whole 30.  She did give me an out by saying, "I'll totally understand if you don't want to do it."  But me, being the people pleaser I am said, "Of course I'll bring something sweet!  It's fine!  No worries."  After all, I bring wine to parties all the time and don't have any problems at all.  Mistake #1.

Of course I've been sober 3 1/2 years and on the Whole 30 um...21 days.  Yeah.  AND I decided to make an pineapple angel food cake (which by the way was made from a box mix and a large can of crushed pineapple and topped with cool whip - I took a small taste of the batter - it was the worst thing I've ever tasted...so many chemicals and artificial crap...yuck) and then I did the dumbest thing ever..I made my uber chocolate brownies.  These brownies are frosted and topped with milk chocolate chips that are all added while the brownies are warm so it's all melty and shit.  Mistake #2.

I am such a dumb ass sometimes.

After my healthy and wonderful breakfast yesterday, I got very busy doing this and that and so I didn't sit down to a proper meal the rest of the day. Mistake #3.

I ate fruit for lunch and a piece of grilled chicken breast.  Then I ate one of the uber chocolate brownies. Mistake #4.

At the cookout I had one lettuce wrapped chicken taco - one because that's all there was that I could eat. She had lots of chips and dip (the guac was really good), they made homemade ice cream and mojitos.  I spent the evening playing with the only child present, who was a particularly precocious 4 year old, in the living room.  I actually had a great time in spite of the fact that I was starving and had developed a migraine-like headache.

By the time I got home I felt like I was getting sick.  I was flushed, congested and the headache refused to go away.  My "bum" knee was aching which I thought was weird because it really hasn't bothered me for a couple of weeks.  I ate a piece of chicken (I keep grilled chicken breasts (we grill them in bulk) on hand all the time) and some fruit and went to bed.

This morning I feel fantastic.  Yes...I can do the math.  Mistakes 1+2+3+4 = feeling like shit.  All of that from not enough calories AND ONE FUCKING BROWNIE.

I mean really?  I am not sick.  I feel great.  I'm not hungry yet this morning because I ate fairly late last evening but I have enough energy to do some yoga and get on with my day.  I am still gobsmacked by how that one brownie impacted my body.  The interesting thing is that it did not wake the beast!  I wasn't craving anything.  I just felt AWFUL.  Maybe it's like when you quit smoking.  If you try to go back that first drag on that cigarette leaves you woozy and wanting to puke.  Of course, after a while you get used to it and before you know it you're off to the races again.

Well I don't like the races.  So I won't be doing that again.  I can't say ever because I don't know about ever but I can say that it won't happy TODAY.  I can only worry about today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

And as for yesterday..that little bump in the road is in the past.  When the guilt and shame come calling I'm sending them to voice mail.  They has nothing to say to me now.

Namaste

"God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try." Mother Teresa

Whole 30 Challenge

A comment on Annette's blog yesterday about starting this thing over for Dawn got me to thinking...what if we really do this together?  What if we copycat Belle and do a Whole 30 version of of her Team 100?  What if we leaned on each other and made this happen?

This. Just. Might. Work.

I've already decided to keep my Whole 30 (whole9life.com) going for another 30 days, and for my next 30 I'm going to ditch the Diet Soda (ugh) and the...gasp...International Coffee French Vanilla Creamer...cringe.  For me...that starts on September 18th.  (My current Whole 30 ends September 9th which gives me a week to regroup before I plunge in again.)  I've even ordered the book, "It Starts With Food" to devour before my next start date

SOOOOOO...if you guys want to join me, here's what I'm proposing we do.

• Go to Whole 30 and read as much as you can on the program.  Download the shopping list and check out some of the recipes and menus. 
• For those of you who have done Atkins or Paleo or South Beach...this is a version of that on heavy duty steroids. Take the next two 1/2 weeks to prepare and psyche yourself up.  Get excited!!!  Believe me when I say that this is a GOOD thing!  You will love yourself not because you're on a diet and may or may not lose weight, but because you're doing something good for that body (in the alcoholic's case) that you've been abusing for however many years!
• If you decide you want to join in, email me at sherryd32148@gmail.com (or respond in the comments) and I'll add your name to our list. 
• Give me your start date.  It can be today, the 18th (with me!) or a date in the past because you've already begun.
• In the email also include your name (first names, nicknames, made up names, or blog names are fine...no anoymous participants - you have to own this thing), your reason for joining and what you'd like to achieve at the end of 30 days.  Remember, this doesn't have to be a number, it can be anything. 
• Then, once a week (or twice or every day...I don't care), email me with your progress, questions or comments.  Tell me how your mood has been and what you've experienced since your last email.  Share the changes that are going on in your life, your body and your attitude.
• I'll update everyone once a week in a weekend blog entry.  (Depending on the response to this, I'll update more frequently if necessary - if you have a question then EVERYONE likely has the same question.  We'll research and learn together.)  This will keep us accountable (me included...diet soda gone...ugh) and will give everyone a place to share, bitch and celebrate.

Then you have to COMMIT.

• Put a sign on your fridge that says, "I can do ANYTHING for 30 days."
• Write on your bathroom mirror in lipstick or white board marker, "I am beautiful and I am WORTH these 30 days."
• Hide your scale and your tape measurers.  Weigh yourself and take measurements if you want on the very first day and then get someone to hide those motherfuckers where you will never find them.  Tell them that, no matter what, they are not to tell you where they hid them.  NO MATTER WHAT.  This is about health, not a number.  Besides, your clothes will begin to speak to you at about the 2 week mark.
• Pull out those dusty AA tools and apply them to this...they work.

I'll wait to hear from you guys.  I'm doing this no matter what because I feel so damn good right now.  You guys are welcome to hitch a ride if you want.

Namaste